- People pleasing pastors take most criticism personally. Any suggestion feels like a personal attack. We become overly defensive and resentful of even mild corrections.
- People pleasing pastors have an extraordinary fear of rejection. If someone questions our motivies, doesn't like a sermon, comment about the sermon outline, or leaves the Church, it can throw a few us into a depressed tailspin, and some will just quit going to church altogether.
- People pleasing pastors find it hard to express their feelings. Because we have to "please people," we don't feel safe expressing our true feeling and needs.
- People pleasing pastors have a hard time saying "no." Because we want to make people happy. We often over-commit. Although we are outwardly agreeable, we are often inwardly resentful.
But while we need to watch our motives, and we need to please God first, we also need to watch that we don't on purpose get people to hate us.
How often I have talked to other pastors who are so people pleasers that they will just lie about what they are really thinking. I know strong words to say. They do not want to say something that will disappoint you, and keep you liking them, while at the same time know they are not going to use you in the church.
Most of us pastors fight the "people pleasing" problem.