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Of course this is not true in some churches, but in many churches members may go for years and never invite another person to come with them to visit their church..
Why do some churches have a difficult time seeing visitors come, and if they do come, they don't say very long?
There is a sample of some responses to this problem:
-A survey of responses to this questions were:
- Its pretty simple. If people love being there then they will invite others to share that experience. If they are only there because they feel the have to be there even though they hate being there then it makes no sense at all to invite others.
- maybe it’s to hun drum and do not want to bore other people, or no one wants to invite anyone to a troubled church, or they are just plain lazy, if the works of god is going on in a church you could not keep people away. there would be standing room only. hey no power no people, if it is just a form of godliness but they are denying the power there of , what do you really expect. if a church is full you can believe the works of god is going on or they are making a lot of people feel good about how they live,
- For starters, I generally won’t invite someone if I know they’re already attending another church; the main exception would be if I know they have a particular need that isn’t being addressed there and is likely to be (better) addressed at a different church.
- If I’m going to invite someone to church, I want to be sure that is the right "next step" for them; I don’t want to give the impression that the church will meet their needs, but rather that it is a relationship with God that is ultimately needed. Relationships with His people are vitally important, but secondary nonetheless.
. - Final point: we should never be afraid to invite someone to a church other than ours. My church may not be the best fit for Joe, but if he needs to plug in somewhere, I want to be able to refer him to another church that will be a better fit. That means I need to do some homework about other churches in the area.
. - Part of this is of course laziness, or church irrelevance. But let me question the analogy of the concert a little bit. Whether or not outsiders are invited to ‘church’ is a function of what we think the Sunday service is. If it’s primarily an ‘event’, then yes, properly orchestrated, it should cause members to invite others.
. - But if it is primarily a gathering of believers, the fact that non-believers aren’t systematically invited may be a sign of health. We don’t invite nonbelievers to take communion, because it presupposes the appropriate response to God’s invitation to become a part of his people has already been taken (viz. baptism).
. - It’s of course possible that ‘church’ is a little bit of both (event AND gathering of believers), but lack of clarity on this point will mean regular attenders will be wary of inviting outsiders. I also want to suggest that if church services are taken to be the gathering of believers, then ‘outreach’ needs to happen in a different manner. I’ll let you imagine just what that might look like……
ashamed would be the biggest issue!!
. - I agree with you. Not to be too cynical, but I think churches that lack excellence in their services tend to make excuses more than adjustments. Too often when something is called less than great, the accusation is attacked rather than heard and examined.
. - I don’t think that every critique needs to be taken to heart, but if it is coming from an involved, invested, and committed individual, than it needs to be prodded for more detail. If more churches did this, there would be a better dialogue on how to be more effective and visitor friendly at our services, and more effective at making an impact spiritually when people are there.
. - I will probably get some grief for this comment, but one of the things that often makes it difficult to invite friends to church is the quality of music that is presented…… for me, bad music is embarrassing is all……
more often than not, the bad music comes as a result of a worship team (aka "a worship band") trying to present music that is beyond its level of expertise… . - if i, as a regular attendee, feel "on edge" or nervous because i am just not sure what sounds will emanate from the singers or instrumentalists who are leading me, i just have second thoughts before i would subject my unchurched friends to the same… "special music" can be even worse, but we don’t have to go there just now……
that being said, having myself been involved in leading worship and presenting music, without intending to, i may have become overly critical or overly analytical… i recognize that (including myself) every worshiper brings his/her own attitude to the service, and that attitude affects how the worshiper feels about the experience……
additionally, i would say that about 50-60 % of worshipers don’t even notice "bad music", so for them, it is a non-issue…… all in all, it seems to me that worship music "style"" is less important to many participants than the "quality"… (what i mean by that is that although i prefer modern or contemporary worship music, i personally would choose old hymns "done well", over contemporary music "done mediocrely")…
if worship teams and bands would stick to what they are able to do well, i personally would find it easier to invite unchurched friends to the service…… - The Lord has many ways in which He can be worshipped, but it really starts with God, working through us, to express Himself in us.