Dad Raised Me as a Calvinist and not as a Fundamentalist

MY DAD MIGHT HAVE BEEN A FUNDAMENTALIST BUT HE RAISED ME AS A CALVINIST

I am not sure what bran of Fundamentalism we are speaking of, and there are several, nevertheless, all pastors and their families will have some of their children who are saved and some will never be saved.

 
Children are not saved or lost because of my behavior or what Fellowship I belong to. I could be the worst pastor in the world, and have children who will be saved and love the Lord.

I have learned not to criticize a pastor for the behavior of his adult children. When sons and daughters become adults they are responsible for their life style.

Some of the worst parents can have children who become wonderful godly adult Christians.
I believe God by His power and grace and mercy saves His children. 

All four of my adult children, now say, “Dad, we are responsible for our decisions.”
Sneers and jibes are par for many, but really, it should be grace and thankfulness for God’s wonderful grace and mercy.

My Dad: Everette Whisnant, 1904 to 1966, (original photo)

My Dad's Son. Me

My Dad.

A friend of my Dad said "You Dad was a Calvinist."  I never knew that.  Of course I didn't know what a Calvinist was until I heard the term in Seminary.  Dad raised me as a Calvinist, not as a Fundamentalist.  Dad was a Fundamentalist I think, he ran around with them folks. J.F. Norris, John R. Rice, Bob Jones, and the like. He even liked some Southern Baptist folks.  But he just never criticized pastors. And he never said we were saved by works or keep laws. 


Dad and Mom never raised Donald and I and Ellen by rules.  Well, it seemed we could not do anything, like going to movies, etc. but then again Dad did not kill me when I did go to one.


The Lord was gracious in saving me when I was very young, God changed my heart when I was but a small boy.  As a result, I had a heart toward my Dad and Mom, and I had a spirit of love toward them.  I loved to hear my Dad preach and my Mom singing.  

The Lord by His sovereign grace applied His love and grace on me, and enabled me to have the kind of attitude and love for Him, the Word of God, the ministry of preaching and teaching the Word,  that I have had now for fifty seven years of my life. 


I have four adult children, Charity and I tried to raise and teach them right.  We tried to live godly before them.  And we tried hard to teach them the Word of God and how to live.  

But the bottom line is this.  Only God can open their hearts to respond to the teaching of Jesus Christ. Only by His sovereign grace can anyone come to love the Lord Jesus Christ and His Words and Work.

Understanding What Salvation Is All About

Let it ever be fixed in our minds, that if the Christian is walking with God, his speech will pour out in godly communication. The results of godly words, results in our soul being warmed, refreshed and edified. Proverbs 13:2 and Proverbs 12:14

In our Adult Bible Fellowship class this last Sunday, we were in Proverbs 13:5-10. My topic was parenting.

I have made one segment of the lesson public. Which I will post.

We as parents cause a lot of the problems our children have. But there is a time that we need to say, enough is enough when they get to be adults. Once the become an adult, they need to take on adult responsibility and not depend upon parents to always get them out of trouble. Sometimes yes, but not as a habit.

When our adult children are making an effort to work and take responsibility we try to help them. When we are in a position to help then its okay. But if we are in no position to help then do not go into debt yourselves.

CHILDEN AS CAREGIVERS OF THEIR PARENTS

Kids taking care of their parents? Maybe the title should be: The confession of a son.

I googled adult children taken care of their parents. That was interesting for sure. I had never done any research on children taking care of their aged parents. (Of course as a pastor/teacher/son I realize there are biblical principles, but it is principles and needs to be fleshed out in reality). So do not get biblical on me.

Becoming 'parent of your parent' an emotionally wrenching process.

I just haven't taken the time to review all this about parents. In my mind, Mom was able to take care of herself, and I just didn't give it much thought really. I believed she was in good hands and just let it go at that. I was acting as I had all my life with Mom. Why all of a sudden would I start doing things differently? I have never been involved in any decisions Mom has made nor in any decisions made for her. I am not saying it was okay, but it is what is is.

There is no way to really know, unless you go through it. I am not sure I really understood this whole matter. And even in the process of Charity and I and Debbie and Rob with Lenora That last year of Lenora life was an experience. We were at their house everyday for a year. Now
I admit Charity and Debbie did all the work. I just was there most of the time. I was never really connected with Lenora, but I did get a little attached in the end.

The difference was that the three kids were working together because they were here where she lived. And I admit they worked well together, for the first time.

Also, Bob had all the means to take care of all the financial needs of Lenora. Therefore, we didn't have any expense, except the gasoline, and a few other things. So again, in my mind was they were well taken care of.

Even now Bob is well taken care of.

Charity and Debbie and Rob really never got along really well until Lenora was dying. Even now it's not great, good but not great. Kids sometime don't get along very well, until one of their parents is dying and they come together as a team and work well together. That is the hope you have. Nevertheless, it would have been different, I believe, if we three were not within living distance. Well maybe.

As I was reading some of the articles on this subject of taking care of our parents, I found it interesting to say the least.

How you flesh out biblically "honor your parents" and how you live up to what some people say you should, is interesting as well. The problem is, it's a lifestyle that you have with your parents from the time you are born. You honor your parents as a youth and as a teen, and then as an adult.

Our culture today, is not like the days in the past. Children and parents lived together, we are in a whole other world as to the lifestyle of living. We lived close together in the other world. Today families live all over the country. It's good that some families live together. Often one family member will live near the parents, and it seems it falls on that member to take care of their parents.

I certainly didn't think about changing my behavior toward Mom after dad died. I certainly didn't think about Mom any differently when I went to college, or was married, or as we moved on in our life. And it's been that way as long as I remember. I really didn't do a study on the subject of children's responsibility toward their parents in their older years.

While I worked in the Nursing Home for 16 years, you do get a perspective on the subject. But for some reason, it never occurred to me about MOM. I just believed Mom was well able to take care of herself, and I did what I have always acted. Believing it was okay I just kept doing what I was doing.

I can't remember ever writing a letter to Mom, I would send a birthday card, a Mother's Day card, a Christmas card. I would call on occasion. I always felt she was okay in living her life. For
a while Mom and I lived in the same area. For a while she played the piano for us at the church I pastored for three years. Then she played the piano at the church where I was the Asso. Pastor. She played the organ at Victory for a number of years. Even when Charity and I moved to Kansas she was still working full time. And I was rather satisfied she was doing very well.

On trips back from Kansas to Ohio over the next sixteen years, at least once a year, we would visit her along with Charity's family for about a week. So for a week a year we usually had time with our parents.

In my mind I was happy that we could see our parents once a year. Charity's parents would come to see us in Kansas. Mom was working full time and couldn't come as often as she would have liked I am sure. She also had to visit Don and Ellen.

I read in an article this week, that kids should sit down together and work out a plan for our parents when they come to the point they can't take care of themselves. This should happen before our parents get in that condition.

Becoming 'parent of your parent' an emotionally wrenching process

This article http://www.usatoday.com/money/perfi/eldercare/2007-06-24-elder-care-cover_N.htm tells what AARP has found out about caregivers. AARP estimates that unpaid caregivers who contribute financially spend an average of $2,400 a year on care.

Adult Children, Aging Parents and the Law

This article http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/11/20/unenforced-filial-responsibility-laws/ is good too about the law and taking care of your parents.

"Thanks to the marvels of medical science, our parents are living longer than ever before. Adults over age 80 are the fastest growing segment of the population, and most will spend years dependent on others for the most basic needs. That burden falls to their baby boomer children, 77 million strong, who are flummoxed by the technicalities of eldercare, turned upside down by the changed architecture of their families, struggling to balance work and caregiving, and depleting their own retirement savings in the process."

Like I said, I had never done any research on the subject, even though I had worked in a nursing home for almost 16 years.

Maybe if I had this article fifteen years ago http://planit.cuna.org/013178/article.php?doc_id=852 I would have had a different perspective on the subject. But really I was clueless on the subject. I saw Charity's parents as well and able to take care of themselves. I saw Mom doing well, and able to take care of her independent self. She is still rather independent in wanting to take care of her self at 85 years old. So is Charity's dad, very independent and doing well at 77 years old. They had all worked very hard and had a good retirement plan.

Is it the responsibility of children to care for their elderly parents?

http://www.helium.com/debates/137346-is-it-the-responsibility-of-children-to-care-for-their-elderly-parents

And this I will close but certainly a lot more could be said. Maybe later.

KIDS TODAY TIME ON THE INTERNET

THIS IS THE BEST OF BECKY, ERIC, KYLE AND CHAD WHISNANT
From 1971 to 1984
They are all grown up.
Charity and I are deeply blessed

Okay its Monday at 11 a.m.
Had to add this one of Eric
The little guy. Amazing young man today
and raised without the Internet

ITS MONDAY AND I HAD TO ADD THESE TO THE LIST
This little guy is an 80's guy, he knows his stuff today.
A Kansas, turn Kentucky kind of guy

This little girl is a Texas baby, Kansas girl, and like her mother

SEE THAT TREE STUMP! Who is this little girl, rode in a 57 Chev

THESE FELLOWS DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A TV WAS?

THIS LITTLE GIRL HAD A DOLL THAT WOULD BE WORTH A LOT TODAY

JUST LIKE HER MOTHER, WOULD'NT YOU SAY......

UNLIKE THE KIDS OF YESTERDAY, OUR KIDS OF TODAY ARE IMMERSED IN THE MEDIA AT AN AGE WE COULD NOT THINK OF DOING.

A new report indicates that the average child in America now spends 45 hours a week immersed in the media -- a multiple of the hours spent with parents or in the classroom.

Commonsense Media, a group that advocates for better programming in the media, commissioned and released the report. Researchers looked at 173 studies done on media and its effects on children and adolescents. The results are sobering. Taken together, these reports strongly suggest that significant exposure to the media is related, among other concerns, to behaviors such as smoking and early sexual activity, as well as low academic achievement and obesity.

Here are some suggestions parents might want to consider.

1. Limit the total media exposure experienced by your children. The statistic that the average child and adolescent is immersed in the media for 45 hours a week should be sufficient motivation for parents to hit the brakes and gain control of media exposure. Access to entertainment media should be a privilege earned, not a right assumed by the child.

2. Do not allow children and teenagers to have televisions and Internet-connected computers in the bedroom. There is simply too much danger in unsupervised media exposure, and too much temptation in terms of both quantity and content. No child needs a television in the bedroom, and a computer connected to the Internet is an invitation to disaster.

3. Make entertainment media a family experience. There is a massive difference in the experience of a child watching programming alone and that same child watching with a parent. Parents should be in unquestioned control of media decisions. Parents should also be eager to discuss what is seen with teenagers and children, helping them to grow in discernment and judgment.

4. Parents have to do the hard work of actually knowing what their children and teenagers are watching, playing, hearing, and experiencing through media exposure. No one said parenting was supposed to be easy.

5. Realize that a revolution has taken place in the lives of children and adolescents. The emergence of social media technologies means that children (and adolescents especially) now expect to be in constant communication with their peers. This is not healthy, sane, or helpful. All of us -- children and teenagers included -- need a break from this immersion. Put a charging dock in the kitchen and confiscate cell phones as the kids come in the door. That will send a message the old fashioned way -- in person.

6. Take a regular look at what your child is posting and what others are posting on his or her social media sites. Look at the instant messaging exchanges and emails. You are the parent, after all, and your child's access to these technologies should come with the open and non-negotiable requirement that parents see it all.

7. Remember that saying "no" is a legitimate option. I do not believe that saying "no" is always the right response. The media bring opportunities for good as well as for evil. Children and teenagers who are never allowed access to media technologies and entertainment will emerge into adulthood with no powers of discernment. But "no" is sometimes the best and only appropriate answer, and parents should always be ready to use it when needed.

Today's generation of children and adolescents is, by all accounts, a generation immersed in media. This new report reminds us that this exposure cannot come without real costs. Let's hope America's parents are paying attention.

CHILDREN PASTOR POSTION

CHILDREN'S PASTOR POSITION IS OPEN

• I could not resist: I love children, and have worked with adults, and teens and young adults, and Charity and I have had several positions as Children's Pastor (preschool to sixth) I worked in Christian Schools. We have worked in the Bus Ministry working with kids is great. My last two position in the ministry was in Christian Education and Children's Ministry, and I can tell you I would have loved to have worked under this job description. Pastors and Elders take notes.

• Who would not want to work with these kids in the photo. Reid, Cole and Ella Williams. Dad and Mom are just outstanding parents and love the Lord, and love their church. I hope they have a Children's Pastor in their church (the church below is not the church they go to.)

The job description below is not from their church, nor am I applying, boy it sound like one I wish I could.

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AND TO THINK SOME CHURCHES TAKE LITTLE EFFORT IN HAVING A GOOD CHILDREN'S MINISTRY. TAKE NOTE PASTORS AND ELDERS AND DEACONS.

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A GOOD JOB DESCIPTION:

TX—Dallas // Children’s Pastor: We’re a creative, contemporary, Bible-centered, elder-led, medium-sized church (200 adults) looking for someone to join a great team as our Children’s Pastor. Casual, collegial and fun working environment. We’re willing to try new things--unencumbered by a lot of sacred cows. We’re basically purpose-driven; more interested in equipping followers than attracting the masses; a more intimate ‘family’ alternative to the many megachurches in town, but the quality of our Sunday morning rivals almost any big church. The Children’s Pastor is responsible for all ministries related to children from birth to sixth grade.

This is the only paid position in children’s ministries. We’re looking for someone to shepherd our children, minister to our families and reach out to the children in our neighborhood. This includes the responsibility to recruit, train, direct, and evaluate a corps of volunteers in children’s ministries. Current ministries to children include graded Sunday School, graded Children’s Church, midweek discipleship program, VBS, Kid’s Camp and several special events during the year. However, we’d like to transition to a more contemporary ministry and we’re open to some new ideas. Also includes some general pastoral duties. I want someone who thinks children’s ministry is the most important ministry in the church; committed to worship and serve Jesus wholeheartedly; teachable, flexible and adaptable; team player who works well with others; willing to speak their mind, but then able to ‘follow the leader’; capable leader with a pastor’s heart--particularly for kids; conscientious and self directed.

Salary: $40,000 plus health and dental.

Contact Associate Pastor Broc Jahnke; Fellowship Bible Church Arapaho; 7815 Arapaho Rd, Dallas, TX 75248; 972-852-5555; fax: 972-661-9113;

resumes@fbcarapaho.com for more information.

Christian Parents Are Not Comfortable With Media But Buy Them for Their Kids Anyway

What will parents buy their children or grandchildren for Christians in 2007?

(Ventura, CA) - Billions of dollars will be spent this Christmas season on gifts for children. A new national study by The Barna Group among Christian parents shows that even though most Christian parents are not always comfortable with the content of the media-related products, they purchase some of those items as presents for their children. The born again Christian population of the U.S. is likely to spend more than $1 billion on media products such as CDs, DVDs, video games and magazines for children under the age of 18 despite parental misgivings about the moral content or developmental affects of those resources.

Past Purchases and Feelings

The Barna survey discovered that the most widely purchased media by Christian parents in the past year were DVDs of movies and TV programs. More than three out of four Christian parents (78%) had purchased such disks for their teenagers and almost nine out of ten Christian parents (87%) had purchased DVDs for their children under 13. However, one-quarter of those adults (26%) did not feel comfortable with the DVD products they purchased.

The next most popular type of media content purchased for children by Christian parents were music CDs. About six out of ten parents bought these discs for their kids, yet one out of every three of those parents (33%) had concerns about the content. This was more evident among the parents of teenagers than among those who were buying music for pre-teens.

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THE TERM "CHRISTIAN" AND "BELIEVES IN GOD"

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Christian parents! Now there is a term that is generally used to describe anyone who believes in God. The term "Christian" today in our society could mean a Catholic, a Morman, a JW, or even a Baptist. The term "believes in God" also is used in a general way. Everyone seems to have a different meaning of the phrase "I believe in God." My past articles on "Can You Know Who Is A Christian" biblically deal with this subject, and I will continue with the articles later.

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WHAT ARE THEY BUYING IN 2007?

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Christian parents live in the same culture as the unbeliever, they buy the same foods, read the same newspaper, generally have a TV in their home, they have a laptop, or Gateway Window 98, or Dell Inspiron 530s Desktop Dual-Core Processor E4300 Genuine Windows, 1GB Memory and 250GB Hard Drive and plays and creates CD's and DVD's on a 17" Widescreen flat panel. (Oh, that is what I want for Christmas, Children, Charity, or someone!)

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Kids want a Garmin "Street Pilot" c330 GPS or ilo 1GB MP3 Player that will store up to 500 songs in MP3 and WMA formates. and if they are real good children this year, maybe the Apple80GB iPod Classic, where you can have 20,000 songs, 30 hours of music and 5 hours of video, now the iTunes cards are sold separetely. Or you could get the LGVX8500 Chocolate Phone for Verzion INpuluse.

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The Abox 360 Arcade Console System has the family settings so parents can control the games and movies the kids enjoy. But parents usually do not control what their kids watch a lot.

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Then there is the Nintendo DS Lite. Metallic Rose Gaming System with Ninetendogs game or Gold with The Legend of Zelda. How about a Black & Decker Toaster?

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And, of course, they are still selling the Cabbage Patch Kids Newborns. And dolls (Prince Charming) that someone told us on Saturday they stood in line for an hour to pay for it. They asked their four year old what they wanted this Christmas. Where do you think a four year old learns what she or he wants for Christmas?

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Charity was glad that Eric and Leslie came to our house this last weekend and put up the tree that was in storage for six years!

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Christian parents...... What will they buy their children in 2007?

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-Slightly more than half of all Christian parents had purchased video games for their children in the past year, in both the pre-teen and teen categories. About four out of ten pre-teen parents (39%) were concerned about the content of those games, compared to nearly half of the parents of teen recipients (46%) who admitted to such concerns.

Similarly, about half of all Christian parents (51%) had purchased magazines for their children. Roughly three out of ten Christian parents (31%) were not very comfortable with the content of the magazines acquired for their children.

• "Millions of Christian parents want to appear to be relevant in their children’s eyes, and to provide gifts that fit within the mainstream of postmodern society," Barna noted. "The problem is that many of the entertainment products that meet those criteria conflict with the moral precepts of the Christian faith."
• Parents have to make a choice as to what is more important: pleasing their kids’ taste and sensibilities, or satisfying God’ standards as defined in the Bible. When the decision made is to keep their children happy, the Christian parent is often left with a pit in their stomach.

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