SUGGESTING HOW TO DEAL WITH FRICTION:
IN SUMMATION

One of the primary roles and goals for PASTORS AND ELDERS is to keep the friction that inevitably and unavoidable occurs in the church to a minimum and to direct that which does occur into positive directions and ends whenever possible.

WISE LEADERSHIP DOES THIS BY

1A RECOGNIZING AND BEING SENSITIVE TO FRICTION WHENEVER IT OCCURS

2A DIAGNOSING AND DEALING WITH CAUSES RATHER THAN JUST THE SYMPTOMS OF THE FRICTION.

3A SEEKING ALWAYS FOR CONCILIATION (unity in thought and feeling) RATHER THAN FOR COMPROMISE - that is, releasing the oil of the spirit (gal. 5:22-23) into the situation and applying "the wisdom from above." james 3:17).

4A APPLYING THE FOLLOWING PRINCIPLES AND PRACTICES.

1. Focusing on issues and their Biblical implications rather than on personalities.
2. Remembering that negatives do not erase negatives, only positive erase negatives
3. Keeping a James 1:1-5 perspective - "considering it all joy when you encounter various trials....."
4. Maintaining a focus on successful ministries and relationship - accentuating the positive. (Don’t let the noise of friction drown out that which is working quietly and smoothly).
5. Knowing the history of conflicts - are they new or long-term and habitual?
6. Realizing that everyone involved has contributed something to the problem. (Interpreting most "I can’t" to "I won’t).
7. Keeping in perspective how the area of friction relates to the overall thrust of the church and to the cause of christ.
8. Keeping congregational enthusiasm high by consistently setting and holding up short and long-term goals before the people.
9. Crying for those who are driven away by friction - avoid the "good riddance" attitude.
10. Maintaining unanimity within the leadership.
11. Admonishing and disciplining the sinning member.
12. Maintaining an open access to the leadership by the congregation.
13. Discipline and building a better upcoming leadership in the next generation.
14. Maintaining prudent forethought in regard to any anticipated change.

5A THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE OR COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE ATTITUDES AND ACTIONS WHICH CHURCH LEADERS CAN INDULGE IN. AMONG THEM ARE:

1. AN "IF WE IGNORE IT IT WILL GO AWAY" ATTITUDE.
2. DEMANDING THAT FRICTION CEASE BETWEEN INDIVIDUALS OR GROUPS WITHOUT PROVIDING THE GUIDANCE TO DO SO.
3. A "WE ‘VE GOT TO WIN THIS BATTLE AT ALL COST" ATTITUDE MAYBE TOO COSTLY.’
4. A FRICTION CAN HAVE A POSITIVE OR CONSTRUCTIVE EFFECT ON A CHURCH BY
   INIGATING A NEED FOR GREATER ORDER. ACTS 6:1-7
   2B BEING AN AGENT OF UNIFICATION.
   3B FORCING PEOPLE TO DEAL WITH UNSPIRITUAL ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIOR.
   - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
   For the glory of the Lord to be fulfilled in this matter that seems to be before us, there needs to be, in my opinion, a resolution that we will resolve this.

I cannot see a resolution in this matter without all parties in this matter working it out.

1 We need to reduce the tension with some mental and biblical analysis.
2 We need to settle, determine and state formally in a resolution about this matter.
3 We need to deal with questions or matters of uncertainty, conclusively. To resolve the questions before each person involved in this matter.
4 We need to cart away or dispel any doubts we may have in this matter.


= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Drafted by Charles E. Whisnant, while pastor/teacher of First Baptist Church 1980-1996 updated July 2007

The philosophy was to deal with the problem when the noise was small. At the first sound of friction try to apply to oil of the Spirit as soon as possible.

Praying for six months was never the solution, the problems never just went away.
Some times there was success.

Sometimes I have been good at this, and other times I have forgotten the principles to be applied.

HOW DO DEAL WITH DIFFERENT ATTITUDES IN THE CHURCH BODY

Part Seven

6 ARE THERE SOME NEGATIVE OR COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE ATTITUDES AND ACTIONS THAT LEADERS MAY UTILIZE WHICH MAY LEAD TO A GREATER PROPENSITY TO FRACTURE IN THE CHURCH? yes

• THE "IF WE IGNORE IT IT WILL GO AWAY" ATTITUDE.
  
  Small fires are much easier to deal with than are larger ones. To avoid dealing with small frictions occurring among key people is generally to risk more serious friction and eventual fracture later on.
  

• The "peace-maker" who is willing to work at the quieter levels usually prevents the need later on of having to work at the noisier levels.

DEMANDING THAT FRICTION CEASE BETWEEN INDIVIDUALS RARELY WORKS

• It musts be remembered that friction is a symptom and not a cause. This means that godly leaders should be spiritual diagnosticians (good word) Uh Charity! By the way I love you sweetheart) that is -, they should be able to spot and treat causes rather than just dealing with symptoms, (a Bill Gathard Basis Institute of Youth Conflict)
• 
  A truism: There can be no real or irresolvable friction between Spirit-filled Christians (Gal. 5:22-23) - friction can only continue or be prolonged when one or more of the people involved is not controlled by the Spirit.)
• 
  To eliminate friction, then, means that correct diagnosis and where appropriate, counsel and treatment must be administered to each key party involved.
• 
  "WE’VE GOT TO TO WIN THIS BATTLE AT ALL COST" MAY BE A "TOO COSTLY" ATTITUDE.
• 
  Whenever "lines" are drawn and a distinct polarity occurs in the flock, it is a sure sign that Satan is ready to wrap up the accomplishment of his goal which is to create a permanent or long-lasting schism in the body of Christ.

• SO, AVOID ULTIMATUMS OR CREATING POLARITIES IF AT ALL POSSIBLE.
  

7 CAN FRICTION HAVE A POSITIVE OR CONSTRUCTIVE EFFECT UPON THE CHURCH ? ? Yes!

Since friction can occur only between moving objects in a functioning mechanism, the mechanism that isn’t running produces no friction.
Therefore friction is a sign that at least some function is going on. In this light, then, friction has the potential for producing PROGRESS as well as friction.

A few of the ADVANTAGES to having friction in the body of Christ. (Really)

• FRICTION (CONTROVERSY DISAGREEMENTS,) CAN TEND TO INSTIGATE ORDER WITHIN THE CHURCH t can cause a church to get organized and develop structure for meeting needs. Acts 6:1-7 and I Timothy 5:3-16

• FRICTION CAN ACT AS AN AGENT FOR UNIFYING A CONGREGATION pecially, if the friction or pressures comes from an outside source, or as a small uncommon group within the church. Acts 20:28-32.
  
• FRICTION, DISAGREEMENTS CAN FORCE PEOPLE TO DEAL WITH UNSPIRITUAL ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS IN THEMSELVES AND IN OTHERS.

When the leaders in a church exercise discipline on errant members, they will discover a rise in spiritual tenor in the church as well as a greater sense of personal sin within the individual members of the body. Matthew 18:15.

Dafted by Charles E. Whisnant

HOW TO HANDLE DISAGREEMENTS IN THE LOCAL CHURCH

PART FIVE

James 3:17 gives us the elements of godly wisdom which are to be inserted and brought
into play in the posture of conciliatory agreeable.

❒ PURE - Godly wisdom is sincere and has moral and spiritual integrity.

❒ PEACEABLE - The WISDOM FROM ABOVE desires conciliation (unity of thought and feeling) to be achieved via the 2 lane avenue of sacrificial love (agage) and equity (justice and
fairness)

❒ GENTLE - The WISDOM FROM ABOVE contains “sweet reasonableness” - fair, generous and considerate.

❒ REASONABLE - It yields to persuasion - it listens to reason and intensely desires to be righteous at all course.

❒ FULL OF MERCY - The WISDOM FROM ABOVE is and willing, and even anxious, to forgive, good fruits - It is aggressively good in its witless for Christ.

❒ UNWAVERING - Godly wisdom is single -minded and steadfast in its desire to always please God.

❒ WITHOUT HYPOCRISY - The WISDOM FROM ABOVE is untainted by phoniness or pretense.

AN CONNECTED THOUGHT

✉ The pastor/teacher who consistently seeks conciliation (unity of thought and feelings) and not compromise, by allowing the wisdom and fruit of the Spirit to have access to others through Him will be the instrument for an ever-growing unity in his fellow-leaders and in his flock.

5 ARE THERE SOME PERSPECTIVES, PRINCIPLE AND PRACTICES BY THE CHURCH LEADERSHIP WHICH CAN LESSEN FRICTION AND THE POTENTIAL
FOR FRACTURE?

1B BY FOCUSING ON ISSUES AND THEIR BIBLICAL IMPLICATION RATHER THAN ON PERSONALITIES.

2B BY REMEMBERING THAT NEGATIVES DO NOT ERASE NEGATIVES, ONLY POSITIVES ERASE NEGATIVES

✉ that is, criticism and fault-finding does not reduce or remove friction, but praise and positive reinforcement, correctly and appropriately applied, can reduce and eliminate friction. The confronting of stubbornness, rebelliousness, poor judgment and sinful behavior needs to occur, but when it’s really just a case of different perspectives or purposes, or incomplete information it needs to be dealt with by a sincere desire to understand the other’s viewpoint and even possible discover alternative other than the two that may be in confrontation.

3B BY KEEPING A JAMES 1:2-5 PERSPECTIVE THROUGH EVERY CONFLICT

4B BY MAINTAINING A FOCUS ON SUCCESSFUL MINISTRIES AND RELATIONSHIPS.

▲ Don’t let the friction take you away from the care and nurture of the productive ministries. ACCENTUATE the POSITIVE.

5B BY KNOWING THE HISTORY OF CONFLICTS.

▲ Like feuds, sometimes the real reason for peoples friction may have been long lost and forgotten and the friction is simply habitual.

6B BY REALIZING THAT EVERYONE INVOLVED HAS CONTRIBUTED SOMETHING TO THE PROBLEM.

▲ Seldom, if ever, is there real or total innocence, and everyone involved can contribute something to its solution if they really want to. (It is generally accurate to interpret “I CAN’T to “I WON’T.”)

7B BY HIGHLIGHTING THE RELEVANCY OF THE AREA OF FRICTION TO THE OVERALL THRUST AND PURPOSE OF THE CHURCH and CONSISTENTLY CLARIFYING EXPECTATIONS AND GOLDS SO THAT VARIOUS PERCEPTIONS CAN HAVE AN ORIENTATION POINT:

8B BY CONSISTENTLY SETTING SHORT AND LONG TERM GOALS THAT PEOPLE CAN BE DELIGHTED ABOUT and which can motivate both serving and giving.

▲ People need exciting and reachable goals consistently cast before them. (Caution: Do not leave unfinished goals scattered in the past, however.) Christians need to focus on finish lines instead of hurdles) Phil 3:14.

9B BY LAMENTING (crying: I don’t do that often) FOR THOSE WHO ARE DRIVEN AWAY BY FRICTION

▼ Carefully avoid the “good riddance” attitude” “Where is the back door.” attitude. “Do not let kindness and truth leave you,” Proverbs 3:3a)

Drafted By Charles E. Whisnant

HOW TO DEAL WITH FRICTION IN THE CHURCH

part three

Without question Satan’s priority for the church is to destroy its witness to the unifying love of Christ.

• John 13:35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
  

IN CONSTANT,

• God’s priority for His church is that, by being bathed in the bond of Christ’s love, it be harmonious in spirit and in mind.

HOWEVER

• Since we saints are still in the process of becoming perfected (2 Corinthians 3:18) it is not possible to consistently arrive at unity of THOUGHT AND PURPOSE with out some HEAT and SPARKS being generated. ("Iron sharpers iron, so one man sharpens another" Proverbs 27:17), which usually produces heat and sparks.)
  

• That heat and those sparks are the consequence of still ROUGH and IMPERFECT saints rubbing against each other (friction) and is generally unavoidable in the process of DECISION-MAKING and arriving at ONE-MINDEDNESS or HEART-HARMONY, which is always to be the goal of the church or any group within it.

• Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be LIKE-MINDED, having the SAME LOVE, being of ONE ACCORD, of ONE MIND." Phil 2:2 .

SO,

• Since there is no known way to always avoid the Christian friction due to our still sinful state, it is essential that leaders in the church learn how to turn the friction, which primarily negative (Pride, ego, self-concern) and divert it inot a positive direction

‘ "to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV

• The thought behind this paper is to use the FRICTION in the church to produce GREATER UNITY rather than to cause factions and fractures.
  

JUST A MEMO

• CHURCH LEADERSHIP SHOULD REALIZE THAT ONE OF IT’S PRIMARY ROLES IS - -

1. To anticipate friction between members, and especially between LEADERS, for it WILL happen - it is inevitable.

2. To consistently anticipate friction (due to disagreements ) producing situations and decisions and to work preventively to keep the friction at a minimum;

AND WHEN FRICTION DOES OCCUR,

3. Turn the friction, whenever possible, away from a destructive direction to an edifying one in which Christ is lifted up and God is glorified.

This paper will give some suggested principles, perspectives and practices in answer to the following questions.

• The questions, refere back to part two.

Well here we go with this project. In every church I have been the pastor/teacher in four churches and there has been heat and sparks flying in every church. I took this personally. And was discouraged that this was happening in every church I was on staff. But I soon discovered it happens every where in every church. So lets look that these seven questions

1 Is there going to be friction in every local church? YES!!!!

There is going to be feuding, fighting and fussing in every assembly of true believers. The "flesh" to which every believer is bound, makes friction inevitable.

2 What are the most common causes or sources for friction among saints?

Refer back to part one for this.

Charles E. Whisnant

RESISTANCE IN THE BODY OF CHRIST

Part One

Eric Bancroft is the Pastor of High School Ministry in Grace Community Church, and spoke this year in the Shepherd’s Conference 2007.. He referred to his "Staff Resolutions". So I called and the student ministries secretary e mailed me their staff resolutions. The list was short for the workers who serve in the High School Ministry. The word "resolved" was used and I like that term.

"Resolved". The term has several meanings. One is "To reduce the tension with some mental and biblical analysis." Over the years there has been in ministry this "tension" between staff and membership. Membership has matters that can’t be resolved with staff, and then there is the staff issues with other staff members.
The number of illustrations that I could illustrate this point are many. Somehow we need to learn how to resolve tension in the flock. We need to reduce the friction in the flock.

Without question Satan’s priority for the church is to destroy its witness to the unifying love of Christ.

John 13:35 "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

Satan’s primary "M.O." (Method of Operation) is to stimulate Christian ego or pride (the flesh) and create friction by rubbing Christian egos against each other. (Now, Christians are perfectly capable of doing this without Satan’s help) until heat and sparks are of sufficient quality to generate a fire which can burn up, or at least wither the loving and concerned relationship which the spirit of God creates between the brethren. This friction, of course, can lead to factions which, in turn, can lead to fracture in the church. This accomplishes Satan’s number one goal which is to destroy the unified witness of the body, the very thing we are to avoid.
"And DO NOT grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted FORGIVING each other." Ephesians 4:30-32.

I attended Shepherd’s Conferences in 1982 and again in 1990. I had been pastoring FBC for two years in 1982 and there was a lot of friction or dissension those first few months. Our Asso. Pastor and deacons and I were at odds, as well as some members. I attended the Shepherd’s Conference at Grace Community Church, and I received some very good advice in this matter of friction and dissension and disagreements. The first three months we didn’t know very well how to handle this problem. And teachers and deacons left the church. A few months later the asso. pastor left the church because of the disagreement over my change to expository preaching and teaching. But we were able pour the oil of the Spirit between the abrasive contacts (Gal. 5:22,23) Thus we were able to reduce the friction that had produced the anger and the alienation. And for the next sixteen years we had some friction in the church, but we were able to have fewer disagreements.

TWO QUESTIONS AND THEN THE ANSWER::

Is there going to be friction in every local church?

What are the most common causes or sources for friction among the saints?

• Is there going to be friction in every local church? YES!!!!
  There is going to be feuding, fighting and fussing in every assembly of true believers. The "flesh" to which every believer is bound, makes friction inevitable.

What are the most common causes or sources for friction among saints?
Church conflict or friction can arise from any number of sources. It may be the result of conflicting theological, philosophical or ideological points of view between two persons or several.. Breaking it down, however, we can probably categorize the differences into the three following areas:

1. DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES
   Interpersonal friction (disagreement) can arise from abrasive portions of personality differences. Sometimes, also, very strong emotional needs of different individuals will lead to struggles because of frustrated needs about which they have strong feelings.

1. DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES:
   Individuals will view events and circumstances differently, and since their responses are conditioned by past experiences, the same information may trigger distinctly different images and concepts and opinions in the mind. It is even possible that each perspective has a degree of validity when seen from that particular perspective.

1. DIFFERENT PURPOSES:
   Goals and objectives, when not seen in the same light as the originators see them or without an understanding of the supportive information which led to the formation of the goals and objectives, can cause disagreement, lack of support and even open opposition.

Since disagreement is seldom found in just one of these possible sources, but is usually a combination of two or more and each to a different degree, it is often extremely difficult to diagnose and deal with it.

HOWEVER:
The ultimate answer to both the prevention and cure of friction and conflict among believers is found in the leadership of the church maintaining a consistent example of Philippians 2:3

• "Do nothing from selfish or empty conceit, but with HUMILITY of MIND let EACH of you regard or esteem one another as more important than himself; DO NOT merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

Drafted By Charles E. Whisnant July 3 2007 and proof read by Charity 07 03 07