NOW I WANT TO ADDRESS THIS IDEA OF ‘NOUTHETIC CONFRONTATION ."
WHAT IS BIBLICAL COUNSELING

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Discerning thinking and behavior that God wants to change.
You want to view how you think about any issue in life with what God thinks about it. Your problem might be that you don’t agree with what Christ says.
Using God’s Word to Change Thinking and behavior
You want to start with Scripture as the means of how you should think about living life.
For the benefit of the person and for the glory of God.
So how do you accomplish this process? it’s called nouthetic counseling
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Let the Word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and confronting one another nouthetically." Col. 3:16.

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Paul engaged in teaching the scripture night and day. He didn’t just teach on Sunday, then the rest of the week train to be a Gladiator. He engaged in the process of pastoral work that is necessary to build up individuals in their faith. He engaged individuals one on one on a daily basis. If you read Paul’s letters, you will see they are filled with people. I need to check out how many people are mentioned in his letters that he was personally involved with teaching.

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He preached, but Paul dealt with people as individuals, as groups, and as families, and he confronted them nouthetically.

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ELEMENTS IN NOUTHETIC confrontation. Usually there is going to be a clash or an argument of points of views. In my experience, those who I am talking to, generally do not agree with a scriptural point of view.

• Okay, what do the terms mean to "admonish," "warn," and "teach."
  A. T. Robertson, of Colossians 1:28, rendered it "put sense into."
  

So what does nouthetic confrontation consist of? There are at least three basic elements according to Jay Adams.

1 "to teach" The term "didasko" does not imply any problem, but simply suggests the communication of data (teaching); making information known, clear, understandable and memorable.

What I learned early, "to teach" is something that refers to the one who is teaching. The person who you are teaching, may not be at all happy about what you are teaching. They may not even agree with what you are teaching. They generally are not all that excited about hearing your instruction, or teaching on the subject at hand. My experience is that most don’t want to hear biblical teaching, but would rather hear what the other points of view are.

Adams points out: "nouthesis" specifically presupposes the need for a change in the person confronted, who may nor may not put up some resistance." But in either case there is a problem in their life that needs to be solved. Some sin, some obstruction, some problem, some difficulty, some need that has to be acknowledged and dealt with. What you are trying to say, is "God wants change." You don’t change by taking a pill. There needs to be an inward personality change, a behavioral change.

2 "to admonish". Here is the idea: the sense of admonishing with blame, and to rebuke. That is never well liked. The idea of "nouthesis" gives the idea, there is going to be some kind of confrontation in which the objective is to effect a character and behavior change in the person you are talking to one on one.

Here is what Adams said,

• "Nouthetic confrontation, that is one on one, in its bibical usage, aims at straightening out the individual by changing his pattern of behavior to conform to biblical standard."
  For example, Nathan’s confronting David after his sin with Uriah and Bathsheba. And also, Christ’s restoring Peter after His resurrection.

The idea is to confront with the truth of scripture. Nouthetically, means you speak soon enough, strictly enough, and seriously enough to really effect genuine changes in them.

Counseling in the first place implies someone has a hindrance, difficulty, dilemma, problem, etc. and you presuppose a blockade that must be overcome..

And what generally happens, you don’t want to confront, challenge, or deal with what you really know to be the real problem. That is not the meaning of nouthetical biblical counsel.

"Why did you do that, or why are you doing this?" This is not nouthetical counseling either. One young man when asked why he kept doing what he was doing. He said, "It’s in my blood line." Too much on the "why" will lead to finding some extenuating reasons for excusing conduct which other wise would be described as sinful. Nouthetical biblical counseling is not finding excuses for their bad behavior. It is the task to stop them.

The idea is to discuss the WHAT, NOT THE WHY.

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KANSAS MIRACLE WIN IN OVERTIME

75 TO 68

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.Eric, Chad, and Kyle were in Lexington KY watching the game at Chad's

Becky was in Hutchinson, Kansas watching

and Charity and I were watching in Porstmouth Ohio
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Kansas Jayhawks Win NCAA Basketball Championship

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In a dramatic overtime thriller, Kansas (37-3) defeated Memphis (38-2), 75-68 to capture the Division I Men's Basketball National Championship on Monday night. Junior Mario Chalmers hit the clutch three-point shot to push the game to overtime, where the Jayhawks never looked back. This marks the fifth national title for the Kansas men's basketball program.

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Twenty years after "Danny & The Miracles" won it all at KU, Mario's miracle shot Monday night capped off a comeback for the ages and led the Jayhawks to another national title, as Kansas beat Memphis 75-68 in OT
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BIBLICAL COUNSELING
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

PART FIVE

THIS IS A 12 PAGE REPORT, SO FAR, AND I WILL POST THRU THURSDAY. I AM GOING ON VACATION FRIDAY THRU NEXT WEDNESDAY.

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SOME GENERAL REMARKS ABOUT BIBLICAL COUNSELING, ADMONISHING, INSTRUCTING, ETC.

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I am going to use some notes that I used while pastor/teacher of First Baptist Church in Altoona, Kansas for sixteen years.

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Biblical teaching about the needs of life is very tiring for the mind to bear up under for long. After one hour, one hour sessions, my mind becomes tired. (is it possible for your mind to be tired?) (I need to look up that question). There is at least a strain on my body’s physical functions.

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I had preached for years, since I was sixteen, so preaching was rather natural for me. I believed that in my preaching I was helping people learn about Jesus Christ and how He would have us to live in a secular world.
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My wife (Charity) first encouraged me to learn how to deal with people. Think of that. She felt I had a handle on theological principles but needed some help with dealing one on one with people. So I enrolled in Liberty University School of Life-Long Learning. Believe me it’s a lifelong process! The course was taught by Ron Hawkins, on "INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELING." Class was VCR tapes.
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Then for David Miller’s counseling class: "PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT", and I am thinking, what has this to do with biblical admonishing or instruction? Learning personality development is the systematic study of the person as they move through characteristic stages of growth and development. Oh! So we studied from a newborn child thru childhood and adolescence to adults.
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This is a whole other topic for a later study. I want to keep on the subject. But to say the need to understand the development of one’s personality does have a direct result on one’s behavior. You cannot ignore one’s upbringing in the process of learning what their problems are.
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SOME PRINCIPLES I LEARNED ABOUT BIBLICAL COUNSELING

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Compare the person’s experience to the Word of God. When they share a questionable experience that they believe to be true, evaluate it against the Word of God.

• Don’t give advice in areas you are not qualified in. i.e.
• Legal
• Financial investments, etc.
  
• Medical - Do not counsel people about medications prescribed by their doctor.
  
• Recognize the potential for medical problems to be the source of some of the problems.
  

Biblical counseling as we have learned, is addressing every issue in our lives with a biblical perspective.

Starting with a mindset that is focused on the teaching of the Scripture.
Gather information
Define the problem from a biblical perspective
Discover its root as to what the scripture would say it is
Find the biblical answer.

NOW I WANT TO ADDRESS THIS IDEA OF ‘NOUTHETIC CONFRONTATION ."
WHAT IS BIBLICAL COUNSELING

Discerning thinking and behavior that God wants to change.

• You want to view how you think about any issue in life with what God thinks about it. Your problem might be that you don’t agree with what Christ says.
  

Using God’s Word to Change Thinking and behavior

• You want to start with Scripture as the means of how you should think about living life.
  

For the benefit of the person and for the glory of God.

So how do you accomplish this process?

• it’s called nouthetic counseling

I had to first learn if the person who I am talking to understands that what I do is Biblical consulting. I am not trying to find out what the medical problem is, nor what the secular world would call their problems. I am not trying to give a secular solution but a biblical solution. I had to learn first if they were a believer, if they were willing to address their needs from the biblical point of view. Secondly, we had to discover if they were willing to at least learn what Scripture says about their problems.

What they were going to hear from me was what I understand the scripture is saying.

• "Let the Word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and confronting one another nouthetically." Col. 3:16.
  
• continue next

GO KANSAS

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WHAT A TREAT - THERE IS NONE BETTER - SENT BY MY SISTER ELLEN
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JESUS, THERE IS NO OTHER NAME, THAT CAN MATCH THE NAME JESUS, OR HIS PERSON. JESUS.

"Yes! He is altogether lovely! This is my Beloved, this my Friend!" Song of Songs 5:16

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Christ is the most beautiful Person, and the most fitting Object for your love. There never was, nor will be found any person so lovely, so beautiful, and so every way deserving of your love as the Lord Jesus Christ. There is a matchless, transcendent, and incomparable beauty and excellency in Him!How passionately are some foolish men in love with the external beauty which they see in some women! They love the exact symmetry of parts, and lovely proportion of the body, the amiable features and lovely mixtures of colors in the face, the beauty of the eyes and features, their graceful motions, and amorous glances. How does this ravish the hearts of some foolish men, although the most beautiful woman in the world is no better than a mixture of clay, dirt, and corruption enclosed in a lovely skin; which sickness will cause to look pale and ashen and death will fully mar and spoil! But the amiableness and beauty of Christ is more transcendent and permanent, and therefore, a more fit object for your love. Christ is all fair without any spot; altogether lovely without any blemish or deformity!

IN CHRIST ONLY DO WE HAVE HIS STRENGTH, IN TIMES OF LOSS OF THOSE WE LOVE AND WHO HAVE AFFECTED OUR LIVES SO MUCH.

Stephen's (Ellen's son) teacher passed away last week. Stephen is a Senior and is enrolled to attend Libery University in Lynchburg this fall.

GOD HAS A PLAN AND PURPOSE FOR MANKIND IN TIME AND FOR ETERNITY. WE SEE TIME AND GOD SEES ETERNITY. WHAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE WITH CHRIST OFTEN MAKES NO SENSE WITH MANKIND. EVENTS THAT HAPPEN IN OUR LIVES AS BELIEVERS ARE DESIGNED BY CHRIST FOR HIS PURPOSES AND ARE IN HIS PLAN FOR HIMSELF.

I BELIEVE ALL OF TIME AND ETERNITY IS ABOUT THE GLORY OF JESUS CHRIST. I REALLY DO. IT'S NOT ABOUT US. I DON'T BELIEVE JESUS CHRIST IS SERVING US, BUT IT IS THE OTHER WAY AROUND. WE ARE HIS "SLAVE", TO SERVE AT HIS PLEASURE FOR HIS PURPOSE, AND HIS GLORY, IN TIME AND IN ETERNITY. YET, IT IS NOT I, BUT CHRIST THAT LIVES WITHIN US. GALATIANS 2:20.

I BELIEVE WE LIVE AND DIE ON JESUS CHRIST'S TIME SCHEDULE.

LAST YEAR DR. JERRY FALWELL DIED ON MAY 15, 2007. HE WAS 72 YEARS OLD, AND HAD BEEN PASTOR OF THOMAS ROAD BAPTIST CHURCH FOR 50 YEARS. IT SEEMS WITH OUR MIND, THAT HE HAD JUST BEGUN. HE SAID TO ME, "CHARLES, I HAVE MUCH TO ACCOMPLISH, BUT MAYBE NOT IN MY LIFETIME." HE DIED ONE MONTH TO THE DAY LATER.

THE YOUNG FAMILY ABOVE IS "THE MARKS" FAMILY, JENNIFER JENKINS (JJ) MARKS AND SCOTT HER HUSBAND AND THEIR SON. JJ WAS A TEACHER AT MY NEPHEW STEPHEN'S SCHOOL, OVILLA CHRISTIAN SCHOOL, IN RED OAK, TEXAS.

JJ WAS 32. SHE WAS A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER, SHE TAUGHT MATH AND COACHED TRACK AND CROSS COUNTRY. SHE WAS A MEMBER OF THE FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH OF DALLAS AND SANG IN THE SANCTUARY CHOIR. SHE HAD A DEGREE IN MATHEMATICS FROM LIBERY UNIVERSITY IN LYNCHBURG, VIRGINIA IN 1997.

JJ WAS SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT AND HAD A GOOD CHECKUP ON MONDAY. TUESDAY EVENING SHE FELT NAUSEATED, AND SHE WENT TO THE DOCTOR ON WEDNESDAY MORNING. THE BABY DIED WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON AND JJ WENT INTO LABOR AND DIED ABOUT 6 A.M. AT BAYLOR UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL. SCOTT WAS ON A MISSION TRIP AT THE TIME.

IN OUR MINDS, GOD TOOK A YOUNG LADY IN HER PRIME WITH YET MUCH TO DO. WHY? FOR WHAT EVER THE REASON, IT SEEMS JESUS CHRIST HAS GIVEN EACH OF US 'TIME' TO LIVE THIS EARTHLY LIFE, AND WHEN THAT 'TIME' IS COMPLETE, HE BY HIS PLEASURE TAKES THAT LIFE. THEREFORE, IT SEEMS EACH MOMENT OF LIFE IS IMPORTANT, FOR WE KNOW NOT, IF TODAY MAY BE OUR LAST IN TIME. TODAY LET'S FULFILL ALL THAT WE KNOW TO DO.

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FROM THE EMAILS I HAVE RECEIVED FROM ELLEN, JJ HAD A PROFOUND EFFECT ON STEPHEN AND THE LIVES OF THOSE SHE WAS AROUND. IT SEEMED HER LIFE WAS A REAL CHRISTIAN TESTIMONY.

OUR LIFE IS NOT OUR OWN, WE WERE BOUGHT WITH A PRICE. JESUS CHRIST PAID OUR SIN DEBT AND ADOPTED US AS HIS OWN CHILDREN.

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IN OUR HUMAN LIFE, WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE EMOTIONS TO HURT AND FEEL THE LOSS OF THOSE WHOM WE LOVE. THE LOSS IS GREAT, OUR SADNESS IS DEEP, AND WE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME IN THIS LIFE.

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I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND WHEN I WAS A CHILD WHY MY DAD WOULD SHED TEARS WHEN HE WOULD TALK ABOUT HIS DAD WHO HAD DIED. BUT AFTER MY DAD DIED WHEN I WAS 18, I UNDERSTOOD. EVEN NOW SOME 40 YEARS LATER, I UNDERSTAND THE TEARS.

EVEN IN OUR GRIEF, IN OUR TEARS, IN OUR LOSS, THOSE OF US WHO HAVE BEEN BORN AGAIN, HAVE BEEN GIVEN THIS SWEET INNER PEACE OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF CHRIST, THAT EVERY THING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT IN OUR FATHER'S HOUSE. ONLY THE HOLY SPIRIT WITHIN US CAN GIVE US THE STRENGTH TO MOVE ON IN LIFE UNTIL THE LORD CALLS US HOME. IT'S GRACE THAT SUPPLIES OUR NEED OF STRENGTH IN THIS TIME OF DEEP SORROW.

GOD HAS A PURPOSE AND PLAN FOR THOSE WHOM HE HAS CHOSEN FOR ALL ETERNITY. FOR US NOW, WE ONLY SEE THE CLOUDED PRESENT, BUT GOD SEES ETERNITY.